The Book of Lambert: almost two decades ago the first foray into the Lambert family's culinary history was undertaken. The middle child, left to amuse himself as usual, happened upon a battered wooden box of recipes. Crammed tight with yellowing papers, hastily scribbled notes, needlessly made photocopies of photocopies of photocopies, this treasure trove of our family's culinary history promised much but usually delivered the bizarre. Strange measurements and bizarre references were peppered throughout. And true to form for the Lamberts, he found countless recipes for sauces. He immediately began transcription efforts to save this glorious household relic from obsolescence and the ravages of time. Unfortunately, his efforts were lost. The notebook was misplaced, the recipes relegated once again to the dusty, musty confines of the little wooden box. 

I am his younger brother. My efforts to recapture the box, to restart the transcriptions, were foiled by our mother, who jealously guarded the recipes but refused to use them. 

Until now. Years have passed and I have stolen the recipes at great risk. With subterfuge as my ally, I photocopied this archive of the Lambert family's culinary history. Now, gentle reader, I pass these secrets to you and the internet at large. Behold, I give you: THE BOOK OF LAMBERT! 



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    The Archivist

    I am the Archivist: document thief and humble librarian. Look to me when you have questions; seek me out when the obscurities of Lambert custom are too baffling. 

    The Scribe

    I am the scribe.
    Daring and inspirational, it was I who authored the original Lost Text. I don't know where it is. When looking, you will not see it, for it resides nowhere in nothing.  And I? I am but here and there.

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